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March 11, 2004

Salmon and carrot sticks
dressing in big, heavy, soft
clothing fit for the trash
but too easy to keep around
for days like this.

Chores undone, bed engulfing,
book opened and absorbing
thoughts of another reality
another world, another life,
or not.

Trapped between moontide
and sudden break in cloud
washing up in thoughts
to turn right back out
into fantasy.

Spring scent in cold air,
dog barking at squirrels,
phone calls from machines,
neverending love creeping
up to me secretly.

As if I wouldn't see
the dark shape, the vibrating
corners of the air cutting
and trapping me without
any protest from me.

Distracted, though.
The wind shaking the window,
the squeal of delighted toddler,
the stab of unhappiness
of everything, today.

Another day I don't know,
have been forbidden
to trust in letters,
or numbers, silently cursing
I ever looked.

Go back to the world
that surrounds,
crushes, denies
that stupid dream ever gnawing
like this pain
in my gut...