Untitled

September 3, 2003

Fitting myself into place to stay here
and not to let the anyone take me down.
Fighting to keep alive in a storm
drowning me in absurdity and futility.
Clinging to the hope for more
desperate to keep life in the real.
Just one more fall to the ground
taking the ache with me, into nothing.
It is the hint of finality smiling
like heaven and sweet dreams, inside me.
Racing through to the end of my life
for the prize that might not be there.
I've stayed alive in fear of pain,
stayed alive for these moments of relief.
When it comes back into my crashing mind,
I'm still just playing until the end.
Last of all is the need for this one thing
that sets me on edge and keeps me here.
A mystery, an idea, a set of clues
about borders of insanity and stability.
It's been dragging me into my head
until I've become nothing, again.
But I listen to reason and I throw away
this whole thing for a gasp at being clean.
Again, it is just life in a mire...
it is just life sucked down...
it is my life, though.