Into Nothing

May 29, 2003

It must have been just a breeze
that blew over my skin one night.
It wasn't just the way I sighed
or the way the night never ended.
Whispering to the sky or the night,
living the dreams of the girl
that had so much time for such things.
I look into the misty night before me
that seems to thread tendrils around me
and I want far too many things
that have never been mine to take.
Like the smile that should be on
the lips of someone still so far away.
Like the gentle comfort of home
I should have been giving all along.
Blame me for the sky falling.
Blame me for the night storm coming.
I am willing to take it all.
I am willing to hear anything
just to know it was all for real.
Just to know you are still listening.
In the face of defeat, I am fear.
In the night of my mistakes, I am broken.
Whatever the tears mean now,
they are still threatening me
with the faceless descent
of all my dreams.
If I step into the rain tonight
it will only be to pretend
once more, that your eyes will someday
look back at me.
When I step out into the night
I will remember it all again
like I used to force it so long ago.
I might have no new gifts,
and perhaps you mean for me to cry, too,
but I will be here, for the rest of my life.
I will be here, until the day I die.
Listen for me. I am still here.