In the End

May 28, 2003

It sounds so selfish now when I say out loud
all the things that I hold as true.
It seems too selfish to even admit that
I had anything at all that was a spark
to a world that I never even tried to like.
I spent my days in waiting for some
special sense that I had some purpose
to be here on this earth, to suffer.
It was in her voice I heard my screams.
It was in her voice I lost my dreams.
I stepped from out that life into a world
that I cannot see but in glimpses and degrees.
I grew an entire vision around me.
I held on to that secret for a very long time.
In the end, it was all I ever had
to keep me alive, to keep me here.
In the end, I never made a sound
that I could give to the world.
If I say what I feel,
if I say why I did it this way
would you still hear me?
I close my eyes again
and I still feel that hand
I still live in that land.
In the end, I will keep going
and I will keep dreaming.
In the end, I have too much love
that needs a home.