Freedom for Continuing the Fight II

May 6, 2003

I had lapses of association
with the woman of my birth,
but these were never breaks
from my experiences of pain.
School and guardianship arranged,
I was the weakened weed the other
plants would choke until I was
filled with scorn of all life.
Perhaps this I can proffer
as an explanation of what became.
My mind wanted someone that loved.
I could say I created him.
A guardian who gave me reason
to believe in more than all of the pain.
Later, the adolescent yearning
for someone who spoke love to me.
It does not explain all, though
sometimes I try to make it all fit.
The glow of the sunset upon my face,
and the rapture of eloquence I felt,
these led me to all things unaccounted,
undiagnosed and unsettled among the scholars.
First, magic, then god, then souls,
and lastly an eternity of love.
The fire of absorbtion with which
I head into a world of dewy grasses
to take on the mastery of my fate
leads me still to the last question
of all of my entire existence.
And without knowing if it is true,
I still concede it kept me living,
kept me free to fight out of pain
to head toward the rain,
to face the different names,
to come close and yet remain
in this world, until the very end.