This Morning

2001

I listened, this morning, to water drops
as they hit the cold window pane.
Maybe something inside me believed,
for a moment, that I would be okay.

As the morning crawled away from me,
I thought about you anyway.
I thought about me, too, and
I resolved I would not cry again.

"We have no bodies, only thoughts.
We do not know if it is even real.
If 'we' can be, without a you and me
to sustain the proper pronoun."

I could not cry over you, this morning.
The time for that is gone.
I heard you. I listened. I felt it all.
I even believed it was real.

Then it was all over, again.
I was alone. I was in my life again.
There was just me to think about.
I didn't listen for you anymore.

"You are no one.
You're just a thought I cannot dig
out of my mind or maybe my soul.
You are No One to me."

This was only a weak declaration.
When the morning was quiet, I listened
once again for the soft thoughts
and I believed, eagerly, in you.

I will continue to listen.
I will continue to believe.
I cannot stay like this, though.
I need something closer to me.

I live a life - a life I need.
I breathe, I feel, and I think.
Living and solving life is all I need.
If you hear me, you already know this.